When Is It Appropriate to Talk With My Children About Alcohol and Drug Use?
In today's day and age, raising children seems to be becoming an increasingly challenging task. Parents are tasked with educating their children on many of the ins and outs of life. However, many parents may struggle to know when or how to discuss certain topics, especially those pertaining to alcohol and drug use.
If you are a parent asking similar questions, it is important to know you are not alone. Unfortunately, it is only a matter of time before children are exposed to substance use in society, whether that be through loved ones, peers, or strangers in a crowd. Knowing how to appropriately discuss alcohol and drug-related topics with children is necessary to ensure their health and well-being.
Do Age and Maturity Matter?
First, know that there is no set age that determines when a child is “ready” to have a discussion about alcohol and drug use. Likewise, maturity is subjective. This means that it is up to you as a parent to determine when would be the best time to discuss some of these more challenging concepts.
However, age does matter when it comes to how you discuss these topics. Understandably so, the way you would explain alcohol and drug use to a pre-teen will be extremely different from how you would explain alcohol and drug use to a teenager. Therefore, planning ahead and knowing what major points you'd like to hit during your conversation with your child can be helpful.
Consider Life Experiences, Including Previous Exposure
To determine these major talking points, you will want to first consider what drug-related situations and experiences your child may have already been exposed to. Inevitably, age does influence your child's life experience. However, relying on your child's age alone is not enough to accurately determine their exposure to alcohol and drug experiences.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Has my spouse or I struggled with alcohol use, drug use, or addiction?
Has my child reaped the consequences of my substance use?
Have any other family members struggled with substance use or addiction?
Has my child been exposed to such consequences?
Does my child use social media?
What types of shows or movies is my child watching?
What types of peer groups does my child surround themself with?
Has my child learned about alcohol and drug use in school?
Reflect on your answers to understand why some of these situations could affect what your child already knows about alcohol and drug use. This can help you better identify what points are necessary to discuss and what ones may need to be set aside for a future conversation. Likewise, reflecting can help you better prepare for answers to questions that your child may ask.
Highlight Potential Risks of Alcohol and Drug Use
The following is taken from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA),
One of the most influential factors during a child’s adolescence is maintaining a strong, open relationship with a parent. . .Though it may not always seem like it, children really hear their parents’ concerns, which is why it’s important that parents discuss the risks of using alcohol and other drugs.
If you talk to your kids directly and honestly, they are more likely to respect your rules and advice about alcohol and drug use. When parents talk with their children early and often about alcohol and other drugs, they can protect their children from many of the high-risk behaviors associated with using these drugs.
There is no question that discussing topics like this can be especially overwhelming. However, it is your responsibility as a parent to talk about these topics with your children. Otherwise, they risk learning about these topics through personal exposure, even at devastatingly early ages.
Consider the following risks to highlight during your conversation:
The potential for addiction and its consequences
Physical and psychological dependence
Losing touch with reality
Increased anxiety and paranoia
Depression
Physical harm, such as brain or lung damage
Talking to Your Children About Alcohol and Drug Use
SAMHSA highlights five conversation goals for parents when talking to children about alcohol and other drugs. These goals include:
Show you disapprove of underage drinking and other drug misuse.Show you care about your child’s health, wellness, and success.Show you’re a good source of information about alcohol and other drugs.Show you’re paying attention and you’ll discourage risky behaviors.Build your child’s skills and strategies for avoiding drinking and drug use.
While there is no “right time” to discuss alcohol and drug use with your child, the sooner, the better. Additionally, if your child has been affected by substance abuse within the family, they may feel as if a family member's destructive behavior is their fault. It is essential to help your child understand that it is not their fault and to use that as an example of the detrimental effects of alcohol and drug use.
Next Level Recovery Associates Can Help
Next Level Recovery Associates understands the complications and concerns that may arise for parents when discussing topics including alcohol and drug use, addiction, addiction treatment, and recovery. We offer a wide range of resources for families working to implement a lifestyle that encourages sobriety and, most importantly, one that works to protect children and teens from substance use and abuse.
Our team of Recovery Companions is uniquely equipped to serve families like yours working through these challenges and more. Whether you could benefit from extra support, education, or simply a listening ear, we have a recovery companion that will foster necessary reassurance for you.
Parents may wonder when is the best time to explain alcohol use, drug use, and addiction to their children. While there is never a perfect time to do so, the sooner, the better. This reduces the risk that a child is first exposed to substance use in their environment. Next Level Recovery Associates recognizes how challenging life transitions can be throughout long-term addiction recovery, especially for parents. Our Recovery Companions are here to walk beside you and support you as you develop the courage to have these conversations with your child. We can help you determine the best course of action while providing the utmost support. To learn more, give us a call today at (561) 735-2590.